Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's your world, squirrel

I've been noticing lately that this blog has become completely devoted to my experiences concerning the Digital Webbing Presents - Future Fairy Tales project and my oneword.com script exercises. I really haven't talked about much of anything else since the Zuda project I was working on fell through. I think the reason for that is actually because the Zuda project fell through. I'm one of those writers that sometimes has a hard time talking about what he's working on because I'll talk and talk... and talk about it instead of, y'know, actually working on it. I'm actively working against those tendencies this year with the one word project, but I still have this little bug of a fear whispering in my ear that tells me that if I keep blabbering on and on about the stuff I'm working on I'll psyche myself out of doing it.

And this is even if talking about it didn't derail the project. The Zuda project, for instance, wasn't tabled because I lost my motivation or anything like that. The script was written, it was in the hands of the artist, and all systems were go. It's just that once the artist started producing I realized things weren't working out. The styles didn't match. And that happens sometimes, and it's better to figure that out right at the start rather than months down the line after everybody's time has been wasted. Dario Carrasco did the original designs for the concept, with a very distinct style, and the artist we were working with was taking things in an entirely different direction. And the direction was so different that I don't think the project would have stood much of a chance at Zuda if we'd submitted it. Not that I'm saying the art was bad, or that the script wasn't good enough -- but I honestly feel like things really have to mesh if you're going to create a successful comic. The story has to compliment the art and the art has to compliment the story or readers will notice. They might not notice it right away, but in a competitive atmosphere like Zuda where every vote counts you can't leave anything to chance.

So I didn't. And I feel like it was the right decision. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing enough to make an impact as a writer. I'm not writing enough, and I'm not taking advantage of the resources that are available to me. Zuda is a resource, for example, and I should be tapping it for all I'm worth and all that. But that's another issue that I'm working to solve as I continue to produce this year. What are my goals, and what is the most likely path to achieving them? If I can't figure that out, all the one word scripts and anthology stories and Zuda submissions in the world aren't going to amount to much. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm working on it. I'm gradually chipping away at this massive slab of granite to carve out a niche for myself. And there's always this temptation to take a jackhammer to it instead, to take shortcuts that will get you to whatever you percieve as the finish line a little bit faster. But if you use that jackhammer it's possible you'll end up with formless hunks of rock instead of a polished sculpture at the end of your labors. You'll get to that finish line, but you won't have grown from the experience, and you won't be prepared for the next arduous race.

So for now I'm just writing. I'm plugging away as gradually as I can while I figure out all the rest of it. And I'm all right with that. It's not my world, after all. I don't need the whole thing. I'm just trying to get a nut.

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