Friday, April 2, 2010


Yeah... I know. This one is weird. Blatch!


Panel 1. Establishing shot of a crummy apartment complex. The building is very plain and square. The lawn is dilapidated, the sidewalk has cracks in it, and maybe there’s a dog peeing on a bush or something. It’s a pretty skuzzy place to live.

Panel 2. We’re looking at a right foot sitting on a pillow with a badly bruised and swollen ankle.

Aw, man. That does not look good.

Panel 3. Sammy is sitting in a plush chair in the living room of the small apartment he shares with Tony. He is wearing shorts and a t-shirt. The front door of the apartment should be visible, because it’ll matter later in the script. Sammy’s right ankle is elevated on a pillow that is sitting on a stool in front of him. Tony is standing nearby, looking at Sammy’s swollen ankle with disturbed fascination.

Tell me something I don’t know.

Seriously, dude. You should go see a doctor.

Panel 4. Sammy is waving off Tony’s suggestion. Tony is looking at Sammy with an inquisitive expression.

What’s the point? All he’ll say is I need to rice it.

Rice it?

Panel 5. Sammy is holding up four fingers and counting them off.

Yeah, you know… rest, ice, compression, elevation. Rice.


Panel 1. Tony is gesturing in the direction of Sammy’s swollen ankle. Tony is shrugging nonchalantly from his seated position.

Okay--I’m not seeing any ice. And that’s what you do for a twisted ankle. But what if it’s broken?

Ice is for pussies. Besides, it’s not broken.

Panel 2. Tony is looking at Sammy with an incredulous expression. Sammy is leaning forward in his chair, trying to explain the situation to Tony as if he were a child.

How could you possibly know that?

Because I’ve twisted my ankle dozens of times, dude. I was playing basketball, I came down on another guy’s foot and I twisted it. It’ll be fine in a couple of days. It barely even hurts.

Panel 3. Tony has turned and is jingling a set of keys as he walks toward the front door of the apartment. Sammy is licking his chops as he watches Tony walk away.

If you say so. I’m about to go and get some food. You want something?

Yeah, bring me back some of those microwavable burritos.

Panel 4. Tony is holding the front door open now, and is looking back at Sammy with a slightly disgusted expression. Sammy is being defensive about his precious microwavable burritos.

Dude, gross.

They’re good!

Whatever you say, man.

Panel 5. Sammy is now yelling at the closed front door with his hands cupped next to his cheeks.

And some salsa!


Panel 1. Tony is holding numerous paper bags stuffed to the brim with groceries as he stands outside of the front door of the apartment he shares with Sammy. He’s yelling at the closed door.

Some time later.

Dude, you think you can get the door? My hands are full!

Panel 2. We’re looking at the closed door of the apartment from inside the apartment.


Panel 3. The door has swung open, and Tony is looking down as he fights to get his keys out of the lock. The bags of groceries are sitting on the ground directly behind him, and something that was near the top of one of the bags has fallen out onto the ground.

Thanks a lot, man. Now I’ve got to bend down and pick all the bags back up. Not cool. Not cool at--

Panel 4. Tony is looking into the apartment in the direction of Sammy. We cannot see Sammy. We can only see Tony. Tony is dismayed by whatever it is he sees, and he’s yelling.


Panel 5. Close in on Sammy’s face. He was sleeping, so he’s being startled out of his slumber.

Huh? Whazzit? Whas goan on?

Panel 6. Tony is standing in the doorway, pointing in the direction of Sammy with a horrified expression on his face. His mouth is twisted into a sneer of disgust.

Dude, you… I don’t--what the hell happened to you?


Panel 1. We see Sammy for the first time. The right side of his body, save for his face, is swollen as badly as his ankle was previously. It is stretching his clothing and his skin to the limit. The right side of Sammy’s body looks a lot like a water balloon. Sammy is looking down at himself with revulsion.

Aw, what the crap!?

Panel 2. Tony has stooped down a bit to get a better look at Sammy, almost as if he’s examining him. Sammy is flailing his arms demonstratively in an effort to get Tony to snap out of it.

It’s like your whole body is swelling up like a balloon or something. You think I should call 911?

What? Yes!

Panel 3. Tony is fishing his cell phone out of the pocket of his pants while he talks to Sammy. Sammy is holding his normal left hand over his massively swelled right arm and looking at it with fascination.

You don’t have to be mean about it. Does it--I don’t know… hurt?

No, actually. It just feels kinda weird. Like one half of my body is trapped in a water balloon or something.

Panel 4. Tony has gotten his cell phone out and is dialing. Sammy has made a fist with his left hand and has his index finger extended. He is hovering the digit over his massively swollen right arm.

That is so freaking weird.

I know. I wonder if--

I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

Panel 5. Sammy’s index finger is prodding his massively swollen right arm. It is sinking inward as his finger pushes downward.


Panel 1. Tony has the phone held to his ear. He is wincing at the sound of Sammy popping himself.


Panel 2. Tony still has the phone held to his ear, but now he’s being struck by a massive amount of gore that is flying as a result of Sammy popping himself.


Panel 3. Tony still has the phone held to his ear. Gore is covering the front of his body and is dripping and pouring from him. Tony is in shock.

911. What’s your emergency?

Panel 4. Tony still has the phone held to his ear. The gore is still dripping from his body. He’s screaming at the top of his lungs into the phone.


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